Monday, August 15, 2016

From The Super-Writers' Room...

The almost-drained coffee pot fills Filmation's 1966 planning meeting with its early-morning energy. The team takes in the lead writer's pitch.

Lead writer: "...so this will be a relatable, relevant Superman -- a superman who feels the tragedy of his people's extinction and his father's mortality. This Superman suffers through the advent of his powers and internalizes their impact and responsibility. This is Shakespeare, boys. This is what we came here to do."

He looks out speechless faces, wide-eyed and a little crestfallen.

LW: "OOOOOOHHHHH COME ON! I was KIDDING! This is SUPERMAN!!!"

Room erupts.

Writer: "faster than a speeding bullet?"

LW: "oh hell yes. Outruns the bullet and let's it bounce off his chest."

Another writer" "more powerful than a locomotive?"

LW: "he better be, if he's going to run past it, get on the tracks, and bring it to a screeching halt."

Still another writer: "able to leap tall buildings?"

LW: "damn right, and... And... We'll think of something, but you see where I'm going with this, right?"

Cheers go up; writers throw papers to the ceiling.

Another writer: "can we show bombs exploding on his chest?"

LW: "no."

Writer gives wind-out-of-sails look. LW smiles big and slaps him on the back

LW: "are you messing with me right now, Carl??? This is freaking SUPERMAN!!! We'll have bombs exploding on his chest while he stands in midair doing a double bicep pose down!!! It's Superman! SUPERMAN! Wait -- that's it! That's our freaking theme song! 'It's Superman, Superman, Superman!'" 

Another cheer, bigger than the first.

LW: "now get to work boys. If I'm not going into seizures watching Superman randomly smash through an asteroid field by Tuesday, theeeeere's gonna be hell to pay!"

The men cheer and run out to their desks, but the lead writer stops the last one out.

LW: "and Carl! Get me some more god damn cocaine!!!"